Help
by TheOneAndOnlyLOGANATOR
Summary: Dan has been getting so much trouble in his life such as alchohol, drugs, self-harming , and eating disorder. But when a guy is going through the same and try to help him. Will Dan accept the offer? MAJOR SLASH IN THE LATER CHAPTERS!


**Hey….. I'm posting a new story! YAY! This one will have a lot of bromance in it. This story content a lot of swearing ( just to be safe ) I'm putting Logan in this one too… Logan will be shown in da next chaptah….. **

**Disclaimer : I DO NOT ON DAN OR PHIL OR BIG TIME RUSH**

**Dan's POV**

Hello, my name is Dan Howell. I'm a professional youtuber. I have a brother name Adrian. I live with my friend Phil in London and we have our own radio show on BBC Radio 1. I got a beautiful girlfriend named Lola. My live isn't always been this nice. I used to be a cutter, some freaky kid with a depression. I've been clean for over 2 years now. But lately I've been feeling stressed and down. Either it's about family issue or girlfriend issues.

People says I'm living the life. I got the most amazing friend in the world, a wonderful job, a whole bunch of amazing Danosaurs. My fans know me a lot. They think I'm perfect, flawless. At least they want me to be that perfect man. Because obviously I'm not. I'm ugly, hideous, fat. I got layers of chins down my neck. I swore in almost every fucking sentence I say.

My fans asked me about my brother Adrian all the time. They asked me how is he? Is he smart and that sort of question. I often just ignore those question. But when I'm doing a live show on YouNow I could get very sassy. They stalked me, that's fine. But they don't have to know everything about my god damn live. I mean, how do I suppose to know if he always locked himself in his room for hours and being extremely quite during family meal. He frown every time he is around me. He often calls me name but I just brushed all of those name off from my brain until I could not take it anymore.

I remembered the first time I cut. It happened when I was only 15. I was just starting my sophomore year in high school. I don't have any friends I was just basically the third wheel in any friendship I had. I got bullied by all those dickhead gay lords. I remember the exact feeling I get. It was wonderful, amazing, fascinating. I started slowly. At first it was like once a week, then it goes on and on and on. As time went by, I cut more often every where. I was just chilling in my parent's house and I was laying on my bed. As usual my brother would just come in telling me that dinner is ready. I was laying on my bed with no cover on so he can see all of my scar. He told mum and dad who put me to therapy and made me go to a shrink.

I went to a shrink named Dr. Mitchell. That man is literally the most annoying man on earth. He wanted to know about everything. Like literally everything. He ask me when did I sleep, do I eat properly, bla bla bla. Apparently Dr. Mitchell has two sons. He rarely talked about his oldest son. But when he talk about him the situation turn dark, his oldest son's name is Gerard. But when talk about his other son he seems happy. He talk about how wonderful son he is, the straight A student, scholarship and everything else. And that perfect son is Hortence Mitchell.

My girlfriend Lola would visit me today. She said she brought me a surprise. Considering today is my birthday. I got into the shower, brush my teeth, straighten my hair, put on some black clothing , and wear a lot of wristbands to cover up my old scars. Lola didn't know anything. So, whenever we fucked, I put on some make-up to cover those already fading red mark across my fat arm.

As soon as I got out of thought land, I heard my doorbell rang from across the room. I open the door and I kissed the girl right in front of me with love. I open my eyes to take a long breaths before squishing my lips into hers. And I saw my friend Carrie hope Fletcher. I heard something thrown to the floor and Carrie just said

" What the hell Dan? "

" What the fuck are you doing here, Carrie?! "

" Well, unlike you, I actually go for a small walk and socialized with people. My way is through this road and considering today is your birthday I brought you a present. "

" thanks…..? "

" Well, uh… I'm going to go now?

" Bye "

Right after Carrie walked away, I could see Lola peeking through the wall. Lola walk into my flat without any expression in her face.

" What is it , Lola? "

" Stop the bullshit Daniel! I saw you kissed Carrie! "

" What are you talking about Lola? "

" You jerk! " Lola throws the cake she brought for me to my face. She run out of the apartment. And I just stood there not wanting to do anything else right now. I ran straight to my bathroom and find the secret razor I kept over there for emergencies like this.

_I' m such a loser _the first cut was craved on my arm to be remembered. The huge red stain of blood were created down the floor.

_I'm so worthless_ the second cut was made when I started feeling dizzy but in the same time I'm feeling free and saved

_I'm a…_ Phil just walked in and screaming my name so I can help him with the groceries he bought. He bought the groceries so we can make a birthday cake. We have been planning for this for months and I just ruined it for him _way to go Dan._

I quickly clean the mess in our bathroom when my phone rang and it shows that my mum just called me. When I picked it up and the first line she said is

_Daniel, don't even bother to come over on christmas_


End file.
